Friday, January 8, 2010

The bouncer part deux

Sooo...before everyone gets all fired up once they read this story...I should have listened to the folks that said not to go out with him again.  But technically I didn't go anywhere but still I should have cut hm loose.  I am not going to bore you with all the details, but he happened to be in my neighborhood (he didn't know where I lived before) I was bored so I invited him over to watch TV.  Here are the highlights or lowlights from the evening:
  • he's too tall for my basement.  I was quite was like he was a giant or Shrek. 
  • He and I do not watch the same shows...I did not enjoy the dirty jobs show.  
  • He did admit to having a foot he looked at my feet like they were a two piece and a biscuit.  
  • He asked if he could suck my toes...I like a science project so I went with it.  
***pause for this announcement:  I hate feet so other people loving feet creeps me out***
  •  he proceeded to suck/lick my feet for 45 minutes!!!!  After 2 minutes- I was fighting laughing cause he was so into it.  It felt like someone was licking me with the world's smallest  marble which I finally realized was his tongue ring!
  • I kept trying to end it but he apparently couldn't get enough of my feet.  By the time he was finished my toes felt like they do when you wear flip flops in the rain.  It was disgusting.   I just threw up a little in my mouth just now as I recalled the feeling. 
How did the evening end you ask?  Once I was able to tear him away from my right foot, aka the last piece of chicken on earth, he asked me if I would give him a foot job (think about it...not your hand but your foot).....That's when I asked him to leave.  Have a good night bouncer, go violate someone else's foot into gross moistness. 


On another note I signed up for crazy blind date for tomorrow or Sunday.  Will keep you posted. 


  1. omg...i cant stop laughing. note to self...if they ask for a picture of my feet, run the other!

  2. You're better than me, cuz I would've gave him the side eye once he asked to lick my feet lol.

  3. Im going to need for you to find a chaperone for the next date that you go on LOL

    Please do not allow strangers that you have only seen face to face 2-3 times into your home, thx.

    I cant wait to read the next dating story, good luck!!! : )

  4. LMAO wow, you liked it though! 45minutes it could not be me!

  5. I repeat. please, please do not let anyone into your home that you do not know really well....You and your toes could've been raped!

  6. Ok people...I wasn't alone in the house with toe fetish dude, so don't worry. And to clarify I have known him longer than I've been bloggin about him. We just went on our first date recently. Point of the story is the story not the law and order possibilities. lol. No but seriously thanks for the concern.

  7. Okay you must've enjoyed it a "lil' bit" if you let him suck on your toes for 45 minutes!!!!???? C'mon GP!! That is some funny shit. Ok this blog is should make it into a sitcom or something...

  8. LMAO this story is funnnyyyy. Yeah I agree bouncer is a no go. I guess it's back to the drawing board lol. How was your crazy blind date??? I want DETAILSSSSSSSSSSS. I'm thinking about doing it.

  9. ok..this is the most insane thing EVER..b/c i know that you HATE feet...omg...i am dying...i LOVE it.

  10. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
    u r awesome!

  11. Absolute comedy :D I'm would have pass out laughing right then and there